dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
