Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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