Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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