Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just want nice things and good sex
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
