omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want nice things and good sex
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
