oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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