Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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