I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why do cheetos always look like penises
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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