remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
