I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
