what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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