You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
