he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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