her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
