Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize