new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
