If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
