Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize