i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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