After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
