Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
