finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
