is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
