Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
