If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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