I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize