names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
