Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
