she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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