you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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