i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
PANTIES FOUND
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