I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize