Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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