I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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