Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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