So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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