in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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