We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
