girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
