Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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