what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
