it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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