good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
