A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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