its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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