i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
