you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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