That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
