Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
