idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize