it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
