3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
