Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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