You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
