you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize