I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
