lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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