it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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