Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well I just put wine in my tea
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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