Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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