dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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