Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
