I forgot how hot balto sounded
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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