Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
