Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
